Thursday, December 20, 2007

anatomy of a transition

Have you ever heard anyone ask the question "what would you do if you knew you'd die tomorrow?" This little thought exercise gets people thinking about what's important and what to do when you know there's little time to do it.
It's a little how I feel these days. What would you do if you were leaving the country in two weeks? A rather ridiculous comparison, I know. It's not as though I'm dying or anything crazy like that. But there is a sense that that imminent and semi-permanent separation creates the same sense of urgency. Perhaps it's an overreaction. Perhaps it's the paralytic transitionness impending. Perhaps I'm just being a big baby.

It feels as though I'm walking out on my life, unplugging from all my friends and family, boarding a plane and crossing the globe for a sea of time so large I can't begin to see the other side, and as the imminence and immensity of the whole thing bears down on me, the separation smacks of death, albeit falsely.

So my friend, if I seem a bit urgent to love you and spend time with you, at least you'll have a hint of why, and can hope, as I do, that it's a better way to deal with transition than disengaging early from all my relationships.


Leah said...

Very good description of transition and change Tone.

momma t said...

Very well said, Tony. And I'm glad you're choosing to draw close rather than pull away... a choice that takes so much courage, and so much love.
And just so you know, I expect your move to Thailand to ADD richness and even closeness to our friendship.
Remember: courage is not the absence of fear, but the belief that there is something more important than your fear.
I love you.

TonyX3 said...

I like reading this blog, Ton. You are a good writer, I believe, because you are a good thinker, and you put your insights down well. Thanks for your honesty. And you're not just a big baby. :)

Hannah Jo said...

This is Hannah, by the way. Not you. Just in case you were confused TONE. As in music. Not to be confused with Ton. Like one ton of bricks.

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